Eleven Years a Date

Eleven Years a Date

I became comfortable being around people who looked and talked differently than me. Skin colour was a merely a colour and nothing more. I don’t let it define who I am and I don’t wear it on my sleeve like a lot of people do. I too often see couples such as East Indians just stick amongst themselves and not integrate with the people around them. They live in a bubble and don’t want to get out into the world and meet new people. They love to complain that people are racist or don’t understand them or give them the opportunities they rightfully deserve. My own East Indian friends are guilty of this. I don’t look at the world this way. I think most people are good and it’s just a matter of speaking to people in a way that creates a feeling of mutual respect and not preconceived notions. My parents have friends who have older kids in their 30′s, none of which are married. Being unmarried in your 30′s and being east indian is uncommon in Indian culture.

I asked my Mom why any of them weren’t married yet and she said her parents couldn’t find a match because they couldn’t find someone whose astrological sign was compatible with their kids.imlive cim This is honestly the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Sure, certain people are better suited for certain types of people but I’ve dated women who on paper should be a perfect match for me, but in the end things didn’t work out. The same can be said for my parents, both of whom are on their second marriage. You’ll be amazed at what having an open mind will do for you’re dating life. Maybe next time you’re on a dating site or at the bookstore, open your mind a bit and you’ll be amazed at who can come into everything. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating “Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary by-pass. After such a monumental assault on the heart, it takes years to amend all the habits and attitudes that led up to it.” –Mary Kay Blakely Shortly after she requested a divorce, I inadvertently discovered my to-be-ex was cheating on me long before that so I started a journal to include all of my feelings day-to-day in, hoping I could self-medicate and avoid real therapy. I didn’t think I’d need it at first but soon discovered I was totally unprepared for the rollercoaster of emotions that divorce and cheating would bring me.

The journal has helped somewhat and making a definitive decision to hire my own attorney aided that cause as well. But, I still find all those emotions both curious and confusing as I’m still sifting my way through them. On one hand, I feel like I’m not going to fully get trust back in women so plan on a monastic lifestyle going ahead way beyond the 3-6 month dating sabbatical I already planned on to help my two young daughters adjust to this new life. On the other hand, I’ve come to the conclusion that I just can’t trust my ex anymore and there are trustworthy women out there if I commit to searching for them. On one hand, I think about the fact that sex has been an afterthought for me for over a year now and have nothing more than a passing interest or scientific curiosity in the act now. I actually look at it like learning to play the guitar: yeah, it looks like all kinds of fun but is it worth the effort and possible pain? On the other hand, I’ve always enjoyed the giving part of it. The biggest things I miss are the relationship-like things that, in my world, come with intimacy. Waking up next to someone and just watching them sleep because of how perfect that scene is when you’re in love. Reminding myself how to safely spoon without choking on long hair in the night.

a late night massage or an all day bedroom marathon that ends in contemplating how lucky you are just to be with that amazing person in that single moment. It’s such a bizarre dynamic to have the belief relationships aren’t worth the hassle constantly being weighed against the idea that my romantic match is out there somewhere waiting for me to find when I’m over this. I’m still not sure if this is normal. Perhaps it’s just my mind refusing to allow thoughts of marital and/or parental failure to creep in and not truly believing in love? I’ve just become so suddenly focused on romance from actually dreaming about it at night to organizing iTunes playlists filled with it during the day, it confuses and troubles me. I suppose time will tell but if I get out of this without rampant one night stands or smothering the soul of the first rebound relationship I have, I suppose I’m on the road to recovery and don’t even know it?

5 Important Lessons I Learned From My Worst Date Ever

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships, Self Tagged in: cheating, divorce Your Best Break Up Badonkadonk In the wake of a bad breakup, it is always helpful to direct all those feelings of rage and abandonment into something constructive. For many people, “constructive activities” means yard work. Others choose to throw themselves into their Art, and some actualize their life-long dream to move to Italy, à la Diane Lane in “Under the Tuscan Sun.” I have no yard, I am able to only draw stick figures, and my finances do not permit me to flee abroad, so whenever I get my heart broken, I prefer to put all my self-loathing adrenaline into cultivating a Breakup Badonkadonk. Achieving one’s dream derriere not only makes the offending ex feel extreme regret, which can be beneficial if you are seeking to recapture said ex, but it also inspires constructive, healthy behaviors. Constructive retail therapy If you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself in your rear-end endeavors (let’s face it, when you’ve been cozy in a relationship for a while it’s easy to let yourself go, and getting back in the game are tough) start things off on a good foot by investing in some new denim. Nothing makes you feel better—and nothing makes you look better—than that perfect pair of brand-spankin’ ( see what I did there?) new jeans.

Don’t go for something your mother would approve of; get the sexiest, skinniest jeans you can find—I’m a special fan of Lucky because they have about a hundred different washes due to their women’s jeans—and wear them proudly, in anticipation of your Breakup Badonkadonk. Drop that Ben & Jerry’s Whip up something tasty and healthy in the kitchen that you now have all to yourself. Smitten Kitchen provides loads of recipes that won’t make you jiggle when you giggle. Blast Bonnie Tyler’s “I Need a Hero” and proudly drink your “cooking wine” by yourself. Hit the gym…hard Do squats until your body says no, and then do five more. Show that elliptical who’s boss, and simultaneously catch up on Gossip Girl, letting your fury at Serena’s effortless abs and her “problems” (“Life is really so hard… do I choose the handsome bestselling author or the devastatingly attractive polo player?”) fuel your workout. After following the righteous path to the perfect posterior for a few months, you might still be a little bit sad. But it’s okay, because you’ll also look damn fine. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…

Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: break up, break up revenge, jeans, workout Bars represent a multitude of opportunities for meeting and hitting on the opposing sex.  This was never made more clear to me than last night when my girls and I hit the town.  Newly single, I was ready to test the waters and get the ego boost that getting hit on by a random guy can singularly provide. As the boys starting coming to our table, we started noticing a trend. The guys would seem cool and interesting, and then they would cross line of drunkenness.  They would go from having just a little bit of liquid courage that would allow them to come keep in touch with us to being overly drunk and touchy-feely and highly inappropriate.topadultreview.com The sad thing is that these guys had a shot… until they crossed that line.  They knew their prey.

They could see that I was trying to believe in the old adage that the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone new. I was evidently sending out this vibe right and left. But then they crossed the fine line and their chances completely disappeared.  My girlfriends and I were discussing this later, and we started to wonder if they knew.  Did they know that they were so close, and if they had just not had that last beer, they might have helped me do something I would regret later. So I somehow felt it was my duty to inform the boys of the world that they are screwing themselves out of… getting screwed.  Don’t drink that extra beer.  Don’t cross that line… no matter how fine it seems.  Trust me – the girls of the world are not suffering any.  You are simply giving us foddor for stories we tell other girls that always begin, “You won’t believe this idiot I met last night…”  In the end, it is only your libido that is getting hurt by your actions. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: For Men, Tips & Advice Why the heck am I writing about the Golden Girls in the first place?

7 Reasons to Dump the ‘Bad Boy’ Boyfriend

It does seem rather odd.

I was with the gal I’m seeing and we got on the topic regarding the Golden Girls. We got on that topic because that was what she was watching when I showed up to her place, which I thought was odd. My grandmother watched ‘Golden Girls.’ Not only that, but the girl I’m seeing also watches the Golden Girls… It all got me to thinking, kids. Mmm. Blanch Watching an episode of the Golden Girls with Lacy was interesting to say the least. By the Power of St. Olaf I was ready to break the TV with my face!!! I couldn’t stand it. Then Blanch struts in with her “36 year old” figure going on about the shoes she had purchased.

Something clicked. Sure, Blanch is a cougar, as are all the rest regarding the Golden Girls, but I realized that the Golden Girls were pioneers! They were pioneers in the sense that they were older cougar-iffic sex slamming women in Florida taking names and getting some ass.  They got play, even Bea Arthur, Dorothy, was getting a piece and what a throaty asshole of a women she was.  Betty White was the innocent buffoon of the group, Rose, that dropped acid once too many times in the town square of St. Olaf.  Blanch was the home wrecking-man devouring sex fiend using her wiles to woo boys and men of all ages.  She was so bad!  Then there was Dorothy’s mom, played memorably by Estelle Getty, who was actually younger than Bea Arthur by a year. They compared quite well with the Sex in the City cast, it was pointed out to me by Lacy.  Dorothy was clearly Carrie.  Rose was certainly Charlotte and Blanch was the slutty one… I forget her name, but you know who I’m talking about; the character played so well by Kim Cattrall. It was obvious that were it not for the ‘Golden Girls’ there would not have been ‘Sex in the City’ or that awful, horrible, ‘Lipstick Jungle.’ That said, if ever hear “Back in St.

Olaf…” again I’m going to just do the whole hari kari thing and get it over with… I’m just sayin’. Until next time ladies, don’t make your guy watch the Golden Girls. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Opinion Tagged in: cougars, golden girls, sex in the city This post is exclusively for them who are married together, have kids together and in the mood of pampering their soul mates. Please keep your reading continue if you are pleasant, fun loving fellows. Who believe in the relation of give and take. Here are some cheering tips to end your date in a more cheerful manner.

Please her Prepare yourself to add spice in your monotonous gravy. It’s time to refresh your relation and make her realize that how special she is in your life. You know everything about her. That pressing her forehead lovingly with your hands is enough to make her day. How does she forget herself in serving you and your children so it’s your move to do pleasant things for her. Take a holiday and also make interesting plans. Her happiness should be your only priority. Give her surprises. Take a holiday without her knowledge and enjoy her instant wide smile on the face when you inform her about your off. Become hygienic Hygienic is the first key to enter into the heart of the person. Don’t forget your date is novice or perhaps a mate is old. Women should shampoo their hair. Don’t take each other as issued. Try to conceal the cuts on your fingers while chopping vegetables. Take manicures and pedicures. Men should polish his shoes in a very gentle manner.

Put your every effort in order to make  him happy. Raise pleasure Don’t let any anxiety spoil your date.  Don’t discuss issues like your in laws sickness, your kids study, an unpaid payment, your annoying relation with boss. Focus on each other. Look into each others eyes, praise each other, hug each other, kiss each other. Which you could not do in the daily routine. Crack jokes. There is no limitation to bind you have become one now. Don’t argue Don’t argue. If you find some difference in virtually any point of view.

Leave that topic of discussion in the place of wasting your golden time. You know the dislikes of each other. So try to avoid unpleasant situations. Don’t complain or blame each other for any previous issue. Bury such problematic contents under the carpet of your home. Give priority to your privacy After kids those moments are rare when you stay  together alone. There is always someone to accompany you. You don’t commit a mistake to bring your children with you. You can leave them to your parents who can take care of them.

Choose the time of your vacations so that no responsibility could disturb you. Don’t choose public places. You  can go to a hill station to spend vacations. You can go for candle- night dinner on weekends. Become innovative You can give surprises to each other. You can make those things happen which you could not do due to busy routine of life. You can involve in adventurous activities like para gliding, rafting ,skiing, camping according to your choice, availability and other issues. Focus on each other Meet each other as you are meeting first time. Behave like  love birds out of the anxieties of the world. There are no worries to create tension and separate you. Try to know the things which she would like to do but can not due to family problems and busy time- table. Ask her about her latest likes and dislikes, ambitions, priorities. Something which she would like to alter in the home and him.

Promise her in order to make things better. Look deep into her eyes, put your fingers into her hairs and try to relax her. Praise the color of her eyes, unique beauty of her. Praise the way she maintains herself in the place of a busy schedule. Compliment her slim, seductive figure.Show anxiety if you find something wrong with her health. Ask her about her parents’ family. Women like to explore their families particularly parents. Embrace her Married couples have liberty to do anything when they date each other. Sex is the food of married life.

But same routine makes it boring and you start losing interest. You can change the location. You can go to a room of decent hotel where there will be no one to interrupt you. You can try various sorts of styles with the help of your research to  rejuvenate your sexual relation. Embrace her tightly and lock her lips. She is all yours. Go to http://www.loveblab.com right now and discover how you can please her everytime using the perfect romantic phrases and being more romantic.   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating The following article features my contribution to WinkWinkZoe’s article on her blog, positively check her out! All the guys are doing it. 😉 Dating in Southern California is pretty amazing.  Theoretically, depending on how ambitious you are and your date’s tolerance levels, you could start a date by skiing early in the morning, grab a bite to eat at a trendy, well reviewed, eatery in the late morning/afternoon; then head off to the beach to relax while you and your date oggle one another’s beach attire.  When it’s all said and done, you and your date could knock a couple drinks at a beach side bar or night spot.  Yeah, you and your date probably won’t be doing that… That’s the thing, though.  Dating in So Cal offers so many possibilities.

  So one must learn to use the tools at their disposal, to be come an agile dater.dating so Cal is kind of like taking a nymphomaniac and putting them in the Adult Superstore, in Las Vegas.  I’d liken it to the slogan that AM/PM was recently using: “Too much good stuff.”  That’s what dating in Southern California is like. Because Southern California is such a melting pot of culture there’s no shortage of amazing places to eat, museums to see and art festivals to attend… There’s simply no way to cover all of the awesome things one could do.  The true beauty of intrigue of dating in So Cal is difficult, at best, to discover on one’s own, unless one is possessed of infinite curiosity and motivation to get available to you and discover all of the interesting nooks and crannies that Southern California, Los Angeles in particular, has to offer.  Fortunately, these “nooks and crannies,” true gems of local culture are more easily found and accessible with the wide spread usage and adoption of Social Media in today’s culture.  I single out Yelp and Foursquare in particular, as these are tools, as an agile dater myself, that I have used countless times. I am from Orange County; there’s lots to do here, however, for a good long time I was exclusively dating women out in Los Angeles, because I wanted to expand/geo target my dating activities to areas I didn’t know well.  For one of my dates, the gal I was to meet picked out a hip little coffee shop in Culver City to meet at… Turns out that coffee shop was closed that day.  Not to worry, with the help of Social Media I was able to direct us to Royal Tea, also in Culver City.

  I tell you, an awesome place.  It had a personality, it was a hollowed out warehouse building, with a pop/comic art exhibit on display and just a hip vibe to it, and undoubtedly amazing Royal Honey Milk Tea.  Mmm.  This location was truly a needle in a hay stack. The fact that there are so many choices of things to do on a date, in So. Cal, is truly amazing.  The true talent isn’t necessarily finding something to do; it’s finding the right thing to do together with your date.  It’s easy to go overboard.

  Keep it simple, be agile, and Southern California, along with its array things to do, see and eat, will take care of you. Until next time, kids, keep it moving out there. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas, Dates & Details Tagged in: Date Ideas, Dating It’s a hard product to swallow for all women, having to face up to the possibility that their partner is taking advantage of their trust to cheat on them. Don’t be a martyr to the idea of love, continuing to turn a blind eye to the very real possibility of infidelity.